He tries hard, gets costumes, does some sign writing and heads out onto the street full of vim and vigour ready to conquer the world and then...... things begin to go wrong.
For example:
One Easter, Fat Git decided he would dress as the Easter Bunny. (Surely more a pagan fertility symbol than a Christian celebration of Jesus saving us from the cross, but Fat Git, a self-confessed Christian, is not known for consistency. As far as we know, Jesus was a thirty three year old virgin and bunnies.... well they...... you get the idea.)
Fat Git was going to dress in a bunny suit, the head to toe kind thankfully, and then head out onto the streets to give sweets and chocolate to kids. Having been advised that a fat unwashed middle-aged man disguised as a giant rabbit was perhaps not the best person to be giving lollies to kids, Fat Git settled for parading up and down in the full bunny suit outside his place of work.
Cars tooted horns, some people waved, others crossed the street to avoid this spectacle of a bi-polar Easter Bunny waving its arms around and shouting. All was going more or less as expected when a car screeched across from the wrong side of the road and came to a stop half on the pavement.
A woman was driving and her male passenger/partner was screaming at her and punching her. The Easter Bunny loped up saying, "Hey, hey: that's not the spirit of Easter". The occupants of the car were by this time rather busy and failed to notice Fat Git in the bunny suit. Bunny leaned in the open driver's window saying, "Don't do that, don't do that. Come on now."
Bunny leaned in further.
By now neither occupant could avoid the Easter aberration occupying a large part of the front seat and conversation came to an end. Thinking the woman had stopped to pick up a member of her tag team, the male passenger took this new threat seriously and began vigorously punching it in its fluffy head. Fur really did fly and bunny's ears beat a syncopated tattoo onto the windscreen and roof.
Fortuitously, as this situation could not continue indefinitely, the lights at the nearby T-junction then changed to green.
The Easter Bunny didn't notice this, but the driver did. She floored the accelerator, drove back onto the right side of the road and headed through the lights at some speed with the bunny still half in and half out of her car. Halfway across the lights she remembered the bunny and came to a screeching halt. This surreal scene was now blocking all traffic in all directions on this busy road and horns began to sound.
The male passenger resumed his workout on the bunny punch bag and eventually managed to punch him back out of the car onto the road. The car sped off and the somewhat dazed Fat Git, still in full Easter Bunny outfit, was left standing in the middle of a snarl of angry traffic. Horns blared and as he shuffled off a passing motorist was heard to shout, "Fuck off Bunny!!"
He headed back to the warehouse, taking his bunny head off to reveal a crimson face streaked with sweat and topped by a Giant Haystacks hair do, "Bit hot out there is it?", said one of the staff.
